Five Mistakes you Should Never Make at Work

Funny story written by Auntie Matter

Tuesday, 12 May 2015

image for Five Mistakes you Should Never Make at Work
Is This What you Signed up For?

1. Showing up there, unless you want to or need to.

2. Allowing yourself to be pissed upon from a great
height by your boss. He/she is not your parent.
He/ she doesn't know you. They only imagine they do.
That is how they got to be boss in the first place.
Like David Cameron got to be PM. 'Knows' everybody,
does David.

3. Misunderstanding the true nature of the relationship between you and the organisation/person you are working for.

You have only hired out your time and services, nothing else. They have no right to assume privileged control of your behaviour, thought processes, 'attitude', etc. If such things do not impinge on the performance of your tasks you are not obligated to modify them. If they cannot accept you as you are then you were best to find a better job where those who should be honoured to have you work for them have enough respect for you to acknowledge the fact that you have entered into a free association with them and are not in bondage to them, mentally, physically or spiritually.

4. Assuming your boss has a right to your life, your personal information, how you live, spend your free time, who you associate with, what your parents, siblings, family members do, etc, etc.

They don't!

If you have signed a contract or otherwise forfeited such a right to them, then you deserve all you get. If you consider yourself somebody else's "property' then you have ceased being a human being in any case and your boss is not your 'boss', but your pimp; and you are probably working in Hollywood. Dr. Faustus was done and dusted long before the Devil called around to pick him up.

5. Assuming your boss has a right over how you choose to express yourself. Raising your voice is not a federal offence, nor is it "aggressive behaviour". These are the latest buzz words coined by fascist bureaucrats on behalf of the NWO in order to control you, totally. There will be more. Reaching for a blunt instrument to hit your boss over the head with is aggressive behaviour. Know the difference!

If raising one's voice were, by itself, a reprehensible offence co-defined as "'incipient' violence" or "aggression"... every mother and grandmother in the world would be in jail for attempted murder. You have a right to be angry. You have a right to express yourself as you see fit. If your boss doesn't like how you choose to express yourself that is his problem not yours. He can always fire you, can't he? That's easier than having to grow up.

And if he does, you will know then, perhaps for the first time, why you got angry in the first place. You believed you were a helpless slave to a contract you never in fact signed nor would have signed had its actual terms been spelled out to you... and now your own righteous anger against this crime against you... has set you free.

"Anger has its place", as Dr. Martin Luther King speaking out against the ongoing fact of Negro enslavement in America, might well have said. He was later 'fired', don't you know? Inevitable result of 'bad attitude', 'anger mismanagement'... and 'aggressive behaviour'. You have been warned. One more warning and "out you go".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more