1. Africans are black because they drink the stuff.
2. Guinness doesn't travel well. You drink enough of it you will be lucky to make it to the bathroom.
3. It is referred to fondly in Ireland as "liquid viagra".
4. Guinness taken in sufficient quantities produces all the affects of Oscar Wilde.
5. Irish bookmakers give free Guinness to all their customers; but they must drink at least two pints of it before picking their horses... and three before counting their change.
6. The Irish priest's garb of black suit and white collar is in fact an advertisement for Guinness. Nuns on the other hand wear black and white in honour of the Masonic Jesuits who founded them... but they don't know that.
7. Guinness was invented by accident when a bag of coal accidentally fell into a vat of hops.
8. Guinness is so good for you that, outside of pretending to be Che Guevara or Liam Neeson, it has caused more deaths and mental illness among the Irish than the Bubonic Plague and the Coronation Street soapie combined.
9. In Ireland, coins have harps on one side. "To fall a harp" means colloquially to 'come up tails', ie meet with misfortune. So many people "fell a harp" on their way home after drinking Guinness that the company decided to adopt the harp as their logo. It can now be found everywhere on pint glasses, tombstones and health insurance policies.
10. After the sinking of the Titanic in 1912, Guinness was served chilled in Ireland... as a mark of respect.
