Grover Norquist - "I am not, nor have I ever been a Muslim"

Funny story written by The Masked Protruder

Saturday, 21 February 2015

I meet Grover Norquist on a bustling Friday morning at an unassuming coffee shop in the D.C. suburb of Georgetown.

A member of the NRA board of directors, he's an intelligent, well spoken man who meets me with a hearty handshake and a greeting of "God is great".

Immediately launching into attack mode, he is highly critical of those who he says have tried to "assassinate" his character as of late.

The issue at hand is Frank Gaffney and his accusations that Norquist is a closeted Muslim.

"Ridiculous" Norquist bellows. "This is mudslinging plain and simple. It is character assassination worthy of Joseph McCarthy himself."

We stroll down the street sipping our coffee as we chat. Norquist speaks of the Islamic Free Market Institute which he co-founded in 1998 with Khaled Saffuri.

"So there were people who were associated with that group who had ties to terrorist groups. Big deal. I don't see how that in any way reflects on me."

Norquist pontificates that this is all a "political issue" and his detractors are just "Islamophobic xenophobes".

"They attack me because I married a Muslim woman. These people are full of hate and have nothing better to do. Time and time again their lies have been exposed."

And we leave it at that. We shake hands but before we part Norquist has some parting words for me.

"The prophet said to stay away from malicious gossip and fake words and that is how I live my life. As-salamu alaykum."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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