Medical Marijuana Is Antidote to Ebola Virus Says Elated Scientist

Written by Al N.

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

image for Medical Marijuana Is Antidote to Ebola Virus Says Elated Scientist
The professor uses Virus detection software as a backup and has yet to spot the Ebola virus.

It was dark and stormy when we entered the laboratory of Professor X. Centric. But you would never have known it upon entering the upbeat scientists place of work: clouds of incense greeted us in a room lit by black light. Authentic Day-Glo posters from the 1960s lit up the entryway as we came upon the professor administering Ebola virus antidote to himself.

The professor, who had personally notified us via phone of his discovery, was a short but mirthful scholar wearing the traditional lab coat of a scientist.

"Greetings Professor! What new discoveries do you have for us today?" I asked on behalf of my photographer Lynn Mildred and myself.

"We are investigating the effects of the various potencies of medical marijuana and their effects upon the virus!" spoke the jubilant scholar.

"How did you discover that the Ebola virus is repelled by Medical Marijuana?" we excitedly asked.

"Well, we started by crunching some numbers and brainstorming and we realized that none of the medical marijuana patients have come down with the Ebola virus. Upon further investigations, we extrapolated that the characteristics of the medical marijuana was protecting the patients from acquiring the virus" explained the merry professor.

"Isn't it also possible that none of the patients have acquired the Ebola virus is because none of them have been to any areas such as Africa where the virus has already been seen?" we asked.

"That is a possibility we that we might test when and if we finish testing the potentcies and antibiotic tendencies of each strain of medical marijuana" said the smiling researcher. "Until then we feel duty-bound to check and double-check the research we are doing at this time!" said the professor, who was now devouring a package of Oreos.

"Did you know that Hydrox cookies actually came before the Oreos were invented and so Oreo is a knock-off of Hydrox and not the other way around as most people think?" asked the professor.

As we left the professor once more testing another strain of Medical Marijuana, we vowed to check on his research next time we were in the professor's part of town.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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