Hell's Canyon to be Used as Garbage Ravine

Written by Wumf

Thursday, 13 February 2014

image for Hell's Canyon to be Used as Garbage Ravine
Hell's Canyon bound?

WALLA WALLA, WASHINGTON - Officials announced today that Waste Management of the West (WMOW) has signed an agreement with the federal government to begin utilizing Hell's Canyon as their newest waste site for Oregon, Washington, and Idaho.

Hell's Canyon, a 10-mile wide canyon located along the border of eastern Oregon, eastern Washington and western Idaho in the United States is North America's deepest river gorge at 7,993 feet.

WMOW's CEO, Gregory Poindexter, explained, "At the current rate of garbage production being what it is - Americans create about 251 million tons of garbage per year, it should take us years to fill up Hell's Canyon. To put that in layman's terms, if the largest mammal on earth today, an average-sized blue whale weighs about 100 tons, the U.S. disposes of 6,750 blue whales worth of garbage every single day!"

The Federal Government, in response to growing concerns about using land near cities and towns for garbage dumps, agreed to allow WMOW the opportunity to ship the garbage by train to the Hell's Canyon site.

"Union Pacific had already begun laying track for the purpose of hauling the garbage 24 hours a day from collection centers in Oregon, Washington, and Idaho," stated Poindexter, "so we will have the most efficient garbage disposal system in the U.S. once this gets going!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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