Obama Was Montauk Monster

Written by dutch

Thursday, 14 February 2013

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Mutated Monster

Jesse Ventura has made a startling revelation today about Barack Obama. The former Navy Seal has revealed that when he was investigating the Plum Island Conspiracy; he stumbled upon a police report about a John Doe whom had been washed ashore on Montauk Beach.

Jesse said, "Basically the guy had abnormally long fingers and had five big holes drilled into his head; and had, had neurosurgery. The guy had blue lips and lizard like scales on his torso." The former Governor, said, "The rumour that was circulating was that this mutated guy had escaped from the Plum Island Bio-Research Facility and had landed up on nearby Montauk beach. He took up the story. "Other hybrids and chimeras have also been washed up on the shore. On one occasion a hideous bloated animal which was like no creature God ever created was found by teenagers having a barbecue on the beach."

Jesse continued, "I interviewed the teenage dudes and they said, "Hey man it was a freaking hairless cross between a lizard, a dog and a bird. It was gross and it looked like a hairless raccoon with a beak and chicken claws. It was the grossest thing that we had ever seen and we all barfed up on the beach."

Ventura has made a startling connection between Obama and the 'Montauk Mutant Man' because of his abnormally long fingers and the unexplained scars the president's head. The scars are consistent with the autopsy report on the John Doe which was washed ashore. Jesse says that the President, whose medical records have never been released, has several long head-scars which are indicative that at some point Obama underwent brain surgery. Obama also has abnormally long fingers. Ventura said that when he had seen Obama doing his punch fist to a pal after his State of the Union address it had finally 'clicked'. He said, "Suddenly I saw Obama with unblinkered eyes for what he really is a mutant. I had seen the Police Report on the body of the black man who was found dead on Montauk beach. The guy had no identification on him and was only wearing a black polo-shirt, a pair of beige chinos and some deck shoes; even though it was Winter. Furthermore, the mutated man also had five holes drilled into his head. There was a skin flap on the man's bald scalp which had been sewn up with black 'cat-gut'sutures. What is more suspicious is the secretive manner in which the 'men in black' whisked away the cadaver and took him by hover-craft over to the Bio-Research Facility on Plum Island. The local police had no further jurisdiction and were told to 'lose' the case file."

Local folk-lore had claimed that experiments in cross breeding animals with human beings were being carried out with hideous results. The town of Lyme had given its name to 'Lyme Disease' and the residents believe that contaminated ticks, which had been injected with a toxic virus; were then carried across from Plum Island by a flock of sea-gulls. A man who had been the victim of a debilitating viral disorder for many years, said, "The boffins on Plum Island were playing at God and carrying out germ warfare experiments which were started by ex-Nazi Eric Traub. He had begun his research in Nazi Germany under the instruction of Joseph Mengele. The implications for the local population are devastating if some of these grotesque viruses or chimeras escaped the whole of Long Island and of down-town New York State could be wiped out".

Ventura thinks that the Nazi scientists had successfully managed to cross breed a man with a reptile. The mutant Obama then managed to escape and to to swim across the sound to nearby Montauk Beach where he appeared to be 'drowned'. When the cadaver dogs sniffed him they whimpered and clawed at his mouth. The forensic team looked into the mouth of the corpse they found jagged, pointed teeth and a very long V-shaped tongue. The dilated pupils of the eyeballs were definitely reptilian; and the fact that no pulse was detected does not conclusively prove that the mutated man was 'dead' as reptiles are cold blooded and have a different bio-system.

The local police have refused to comment or confirm that the 'so called' incident ever happened; and have said that Jesse was 'imaging things'. Even though Jesse Ventura's researchers had managed to purloin a faint photocopy of the 'missing person's form'.

Jesse said, it is a conspiracy of silence. The powerful elite whom have created and funded Obama do not want us to know how the scientists created him in the Plum Island Bio-Research Laboratory. The puppet masters are pulling Obama's strings and he has to dance to their tune.

Apparently the local fishermen were so scared of retribution from the illuminati that they refused to sail Jesse and his camera crew over to Plum Island. "No sir, it is more than my life is worth. There are unspeakable horrors there which no one can disclose otherwise they and their family will disappear. A couple of years Leonardo Di Caprio made a film about Plum Island but it was given a different name and they had changed the facility into a mental hospital in the film."

Jesse had got his sensational scoop and he was pleased with the evidence he had gathered for his documentary. He however, did not realise until five years later that this Montauk Mutant Man would one day become the President of the United States. Ventura said that when he saw a picture of Obama 'skeeter shooting' with his abnormally long fingers the 'jigsaw pieces finally came together and I could see the full picture'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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