The Manuscripts of John A Statusboast III

Funny story written by Matt Brown

Thursday, 12 April 2012

Heya OMG I just had that awkward moment when you're so bored that you forget to wipe, ooh smelly fingers. Anyway I got so bored that I came on Facebook, but then Facebook bored me so I logged off but then I got bored so I went on Facebook, soooo random right?

Gonna have myself a big Facebook mooch tonight. I've got the popcorn on tap and a whole case of blue wkd's. Mom's gonna be so pissed when she sees how much popcorn I ate, bitch loves the stuff.

Just noticed as well that I must be a really good Farmville player because I've had like 7 requests in a day.

Went shopping today at The Pink Punk, yeah really trying to hit that punk-chic look cos Avril Lavigne and Evanescence are my freakin' heroes. I got a cute top that says Mom, STFU and there's a picture of Kelly Osbourne slapping her mom, and I got a little black bow for my hair, which I dyed pink.

After that I went to Maccy D's, wanted to try that new light and healthy option so I got 3 medium fries, two cheeseburgers and a extra-large milkshake. Yeah seems unhealthy but I heard that they were lowering their serving portions by 1.1g. That goes to show that McDonald's really care about their customers' health. They forgot my straw though so I rolled right back up in that joint and gave the cashier the dirtiest look ever. Yeah how am I supposed to get the milkshake from the cup to my mouth without a straw douchebag! They'll know not to do that again. Food's good but the service sucks. Pssht, tell me to drive up to window 2, I don't roll like that ya hear.

Anyway Corey is back from his missionary work. I've spoken to him a couple of times but it's really hard to get to know him, he seems so aloof. There's only a certain amount of time a girl can wait around for a guy though until she'll get bored. Hope he's not all pretentious and stuff, guy'd probably think his crap was enigmatic. He might still be gay though or maybe he's just a weekdaygay. You know gay for 5 days and then weekends are all about the ladies. Might explain why he's so flippant with me when I ask about the time he made out with them 3 lifeguards, David, Chad and Nick.

Going to bed now because I have to get up for work in the morning, whhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? OMG ROFL,LMAO, STFU, KYJ, BMW.

Ciao bella's


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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