Nottingham News for W/E 14th Jan 2012 - with comments

Funny story written by Inchcock

Saturday, 14 January 2012

image for Nottingham News for W/E 14th Jan 2012 - with comments

7th Jan 2012: 22 year-old Burglar Sentenced for 42 break-ins
Category: Crime
'This is Nottingham'
Damian Foster (22) from Bulwell, has been found guilty of 42 house burglaries, 39 of them on pensioners homes in the Bulwell and Basford areas of Nottingham.

Defence Council Tarquin Churchman asked for leniency for Foster, pointing out he had been raised by a single parent, and was hoping to find employment 'in an old peoples care home', for the first time in his life, and a detention sentence would ruin his chances of bettering himself.

The judge passed a sentence of £300 fine, with £210 costs, and Foster is to do 100 hours community work.

"As Victor Meldrew would say 'I cannot believe it!'"

10th Jan 2012: A few stalwart Nottingham Residents in Court
Category: Crime
'This is Nottingham'
William Daniel Spencer, 20, of Valmont Road, Bramcote, has been ordered to pay £50 compensation to Special Constable Lisa Jones after he assaulted her in Nottingham city on December 10. He admitted the offence and was fined £350. He has to pay a victim surcharge of £15 and costs of £85. He received no separate penalty for a second admitted offence of being drunk and disorderly in Burton Street, Nottingham, on the same date.

Jody Ellis McCann, 30, of Honingham Close, Arnold, appeared at court on charges of failing to provide a specimen of breath for analysis to police on November 12 in St Ann's. He is further alleged to have assaulted a police officer on the same date. He bailed until February 20.

Michael O'Halloran, 48, of London Road, Nottingham, denied being drunk and disorderly in Nottingham city on December 10 last year. He was remanded on unconditional bail until March 7.

Dean Thomas pleaded not guilty to causing two police officers harassment, alarm or distress on August 10 last year near Wollaton Police Station. The 41-year-old, from Calderdale, Wollaton, was remanded on unconditional bail to appear at Nottingham Magistrates' Court on March 15 at 10am.

Gary Kenneth Woodward, 46, of Queens Road, Radcliffe- on-Trent, faces a trial on charges of having an offensive weapon and assaulting a man in Queens Road, Radcliffe-on-Trent, on October 1 last year. He is next due before magistrates on February 23.

Lee Shane Clarke, 37, of Cranwell Road, Strelley, pleaded not guilty to stealing an iron and "bag for life" shopping bag worth £10.07 in total from Tesco. He was remanded on unconditional bail until March 7 at Nottingham Magistrates' Court at 10am.

John Terry Ince, 20, of Chatsworth Road, Newark, pleaded guilty to using threatening, abusive words or behaviour towards a male in Newark on December 4 last year. He was fined £50, has to pay a victim surcharge of £15 and court costs of £85.

Abdillahi Mousse, 36, of Alvey Terrace, Radford, was ordered to pay the victim of an assault £50. Mousse received a community order and an alcohol treatment requirement. He pleaded not guilty on August 16 last year but was found guilty on December 16.

Andrew John Lowe, 41, of Main Road, Wilford, is accused of communicating that there was a bomb at the City Ground and The Trent Bridge Inn pub, West Bridgford, on July 27 last year. Magistrates bailed him to Nottingham Crown Crown on February 11.

"Gives you a general view of what to expect when living in Nottingham!"

11th Jan 2012: Gasping for a fag? City has one of highest smoking rates in UK
Category: Nottingham Citizenry
'Nottingham Evening Post'
A quarter of people who make new year's resolutions to stop smoking, fail within the first week. And giving up smoking is the most difficult resolution to keep - with nearly one in three smokers breaking their resolution in less than 48 hours. But the message from a health boss in Nottingham is not to give up giving up.

"Over the new year, there is a lot of pressure on people to make resolutions and give up smoking," said Indu Hari, head of health improvement at the Nottingham City Care Partnership, which provides NHS community services in the city.

'Well mugging is not healthy to the victims, violent robberies is not healthy to the victims, and being hit by a car with a drunken driver is not healthy to the victims - and they are all on the increase! Just thought I'd mention it.

12th Jan 2012: Nottingham City Council has announced a rise in the Workplace Parking Levy (WPL)
Category: City Council
'This is Nottingham'
The new increased levy will be £288, and will help pay for transport projects including the next two lines of the tram and the station redevelopment.

More than 38,000 parking spaces are registered so far, for the levy. Businesses with ten or fewer spaces are exempt.

It is up to the business whether they pass on the WPL charge to employees.

"Well fancy that!"

13th Jan 2012: Immigrant Worker 3 times over drink-drive limit, as he went shopping at Polish food store
Category: Crime
'This is Nottingham'
News Article from This is Nottingham
Magistrates gave Ireneusz Sibicki a £250 fine and 21-month driving ban. He will pay £85 costs and a £15 victim surcharge.

Randheer Johal told the court in mitigation for his Polish-speaking client: "He isn't somebody who usually drives but in relation to this particular offence it was a Saturday. He works six days a week doing construction work. "He decided to use the work vehicle after he consumed about two cans of beer at home. He accepts that he may have had a drink or two prior to that which is reflected by the reading [the breath test].

"Once he got home he says he did not have any food at home and intended to go to a Polish supermarket on Alfreton Road. It was on his return from that journey that he was stopped by the police. He fully cooperated with police.

"He has been in this country for nearly two years. His purpose was coming here for work purposes, and to send money back home. He has a wife and two children back in Poland."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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