Vlinsky Modern Times

Written by Matt Brown

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

image for Vlinsky Modern Times
Latest Knowledge Cartridge Now Available From Embassy.

Greetings! Your trusted pal Maltram here with more stories of captivation from our Island of Vlinsky.

Today, story of painful misfortunes for your beguilement. Enjoy my faithful friends.

Just about one year ago Georgy Pestramovic (44), Vlinsky, fell down a flight of stairs, breaking his arm and two front teeth which had only recently grown back. To add to this he also badly burned his hand on an iron that was lying idly at the bottom of said stairs. He rushed himself to the nearest Krankenhaus only to be told that he had a 4 hour wait ahead of him. So he sat in sheer agony, wishing that the nearby coffee machine would have a malfunction and fall on his face, anything to alleviate the pain. After this he crawled into surgery where the doctor tried to fix his situation. Of the doctor Georgy notes, ''He may have been drunk I really couldn't tell'' . In a frantic panic Georgy explains to us the doctors' unorthodox methods. ''He told me to shut up and get on his table''. ''He did some stuff with needles and drills which stung and burned a bit, so I screamed quite loudly (Ouch!! rather you than us Georgy), however I apologised for this later (phew)''.'' Today I still have shooting pain in my arm but I am too afraid to do anything about it, hopefully it will go away''.

We all wish Georgy a speedy recovery in his current times of inadequacy.

His job as mis-informant of Vlinksy Financial News has been replaced to Cinko Topoldanov.

In other news of interests new virus has been discovered right here in Vlinsky! Yes expert brainboxer has only today announced greatly the virus name - H96GZ. More information can be obtained by purchasing latest knowledge cartridge from the Embassy.

Brought to you by MALTRAM YASHKOV (Please support campaign of Maltram Duvold Yashkov for Mayor).

More reports next week when I will be enjoying high-life at Aleksander Rivalat's famous Dance Party Mansion, much wingding guaranteed. Extreme!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more