Interesting News for October 2011

Written by Inchcock

Monday, 31 October 2011

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Nice pair of legs in the news this month!

Selected by the lesser endowed Senior Citizen in Nottingham, who suffers from adoxography, cardiac failure, arthritis, and impecuniousness.

Turning Your Clocks Back
How about the task for 60 year old Pauline West, and her 67 year old husband has a collection of 40,074 clocks in the house!

The couple spend up to an hour every evening tending to the wind-up clocks. They buy batteries in bulk every month for the modern ones.

At clocks back or forward time, it takes them over three hours to adjust the clocks.

MPs say the Coalition is 'Wasting Money' on pointless ministers!
The public administration select committee, claims David Cameron's government is "patronage-driven" and is spending public money to buy loyalty.

They've only just realised this?

It's called nepotism, empleomania, and chrematomania, and has been obvious to the proletariat masses for years!

Jimmy Savile passes away at home
Veteran DJ, broadcaster and charity campaigner Sir Jimmy Savile has died at his home in Leeds.

He would have celebrated his 85th birthday on Monday.
whatever one thinks of him, we must agree he was a real character!

Miranda Kerr models a £1.6 million Bra!
Orlando Bloom's model wife Miranda Kerr donned a diamond bra worth £1.6 million for a photo-shoot, and took pet Yorkshire terrier Frankie along with her.

The push-up bra is embellished with nearly 3,400 precious gems including 142 carats of white and yellow diamonds, pearls and aquamarines, all set in 18-carat white and yellow gold.

It is understood she was 'satisfied' with her £88,000 fee.

Burton-on-Trent get's designer perfume
Burton-on-Trent has got its own designer scent which apparently smells of Marmite, leather, pickle and beer.

The city, said to smell of ale from the surrounding hops fields, has inspired the bizarre new perfume called Eau-de-Burton, (Reported by the Daily Telegraph)

David Cameron concerned amount counties persecuting homosexuals!
Countries who persecute homosexuals will see the amount of aid money they receive from the UK cut, David Cameron has announced.

Hogwash! Another plan to save money for the politicians coffers.

Cut-backs, in the police service, the military, the NHS, the forces, pensions, etc, along with the highest unemployment rate for 17 years, riots, police stations bombed, protests nationwide, pensioners dying from hypothermia, food and fuel prices spiralling out of control... and he is concerned about this?

Did Energy Secretary Chris Huhne asked his wife to help him dodge a speeding penalty?
The Criminal Prosecution Service has asked Essex Police to obtain more evidence over allegations Energy Secretary Chris Huhne asked his wife to help him dodge a speeding penalty.

The CPS spokeman Orson Ounds said; "We have completed a 'full review' of the case, and we should reach a decision on whether or not Mr Huhne should be charged immediately we are advised by David Cameron!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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