Etiquette of Sneezing

Written by IainB

Thursday, 14 July 2011

image for Etiquette of Sneezing
"Bless You"

When somebody sneezes, it is polite to respond with "Bless You".

What do you do if they continue to sneeze, though? This handy guide will guide you through the minefield that is the Etiquette of Sneezing.

For the first sneeze, respond with the traditional "Bless You", even if neither you nor the person sneezing has any religious inclination. The response no longer has any religious overtones, but has become just a way of indicating that you don't mind them sneezing, even when you do, and you acknowledge their need to sneeze.

Some people will continue to sneeze. For sneeze two and three, further utterances of "Bless You" are acceptable.

Beyond sneeze three, "Bless You" is no longer appropriate. Switch instead to "Gesundheit", which will extend your responses by at least two more sneezes.

By sneeze five, it is worth throwing in an "Are you all right?", followed by an "Oh Dear" should the sneezing still continue.

If the sneezer reaches sneeze nine, it is now acceptable to say "Oh just shut up!".

Any further sneezes can be ignored. However, should the person reach sneeze fifteen, it is worth ringing for an ambulance.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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