Idiot Does Really Well For Himself

Funny story written by Erskin Quint

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

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Something Worth Being Idiotic About: The Real World, Yesterday

In Britain, an idiot has done rather well for himself, and his achievements offer hope to other idiots who might similarly aspire to do really well and get on in what passes for the world, in Britain, or elsewhere.

The idiot appeared on a rather splendid TV Series early last summer, in which he was able, by virtue of having no responsibilities or experience, to look rather good in some jolly interesting televised conversations about vague things that sounded important.

The idiot spoke rather splendidly and looked jolly smart and fresh-faced and young. He sounded just great and seemed such a nice sincere young man as he explained about everything while staring importunately into a camera and calling all the viewers by their first name, which in the UK is always John or Jane if you are a woman.

The idiot told John and Jane that everything was in a jolly big mess because the stuffy old chaps who had been looking after all the big stuff had made a bit of a hash of it all.

In fact, they had made a pig's ear of everything.

The idiot did not say exactly what he was going to do about all this. He did not need to. Nobody ever knows what to do about things. Most of the things that important-looking people on the TV talk about are not really real in a real way.

By real we mean the sort of messy detailed difficult things that real people have to deal with every day and which might make it hard for an idiot to talk about in a way that makes him look smart and good.

It was decided by newspaper people who talk a lot that the idiot had done brilliantly well and they made him the Deputy Prime Minister of the British Empire.

Now the idiot says he is excited about the recent riots in Egypt, in which up to 300 people are thought to have died.

It is good to have the idiot to help us make sense of these things again, just as he did in the early summer of last year. How clever and idiotic he is to be able to compare his simplified idea of the riots in Egypt to another simplified idea of his about the fall of Humpty Dumpty or something about a German wall.

What an absolutely splendid idiot. It just goes to show how far an idiot can get by being absolutely idiotic.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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