TV Highlights of 2010 - The Apprentice

Written by Proffitt

Sunday, 19 December 2010


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Sugar's computer

Love it or hate it the Apprentice rarely fails to deliver classic moments and this year there was a bumper crop. For those of you not familiar with it here's a brief run down:

It stars Sir Alan Sugar or 'Lord Sugar' as he likes to be referred to. Other famous Lords are Michael Flately - Lord of the Dance and Little Lord Fauntleroy. Some say Sugar was the original 'Oliver,' running around London's streets picking pockets or two but the truth is he's not old enough to support such a theory. He was however an orphan who went on to make millions in computers launching the ever powerful Amstrad 1kb pc.

Supporting Sugar are a bunch of feckless bull shitters all hopping to be the last man standing, as Sugar eliminates them each week with his catchphrase 'Your fired.' Now you've got the plot let's look at the highlights.

Stuart 'The Brand' Baggs: Hilariously tries to high five Margaret at the interview stage. Here it's the last step before the final and Baggs walks into the interview room and sets eyes on Margret, Sugar's old PA. 'Hi Mags' he smiles and walks towards her with his palm in the air.

Claud interviewing Baggs: 'You are not a brand, don't tell me about brands you twat, I was developing brands when you were a mere spunk bubble on the end of your dad's cock.'

Joanna the token black cleaning girl: 'I is more than just a cleaner, I is a business owner and I is great. Is it cause I is black?'
Liz Lock-part time call girl: 'Sir, buy this and I promise I will suck your cock later.'

Mel Cohen - Gock lookalike; 'This product is ubaflippin great!'
Jamie: I'm a cog in a wheel, an important cog, cogs are important ya know.'

Lord Sugar firing Baggs: 'You son are a bull shitter, a deep fat fryer, a Bob Cryer, a fakin liar. Your fired no fak off.'

So there you have it and here's to 2011

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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