Written by P.M. Wortham

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

image for Obituary: Vinny "Two Guns" Banducci
The stained glass at Our Lady of Corporal Punishment Catholic Church

Vinny "Two Guns" Banducci, 76, of Newark, New Jersey, left this earth on Saturday, December 11, 2010 after a lengthy and rare illness resulting from an over production of Testosterone.

Vinny was survived by his wife, Nina of 39 years, brother Vito and sister Donna, with close and personal friends Scarlett Sparkles of Las Vegas, Nevada, Candy Kane of Atlantic City, New Jersey, Passion Alvarez of Reno, Nevada and the Manetti Sisters from the corner of Washington and 5th, for whom he was a father figure and mentor, reportedly for both at the same time.

Active in his parish, Vinny remained a life long and active member of Our Lady of Corporal Punishment Catholic Church as the head usher and collection basket auditor. His philanthropic endeavors were legendary, seemingly able to muster whatever funds were needed by the parish, when the need arose.

Vinny's rare disease warranted attention from the Bawlzak Center for Men's Penile Health, where he ultimately donated both of his members for further research.

Vinny Banducci will be laid to rest, without his Two Guns, this Saturday at the Perpetual Mountain Cemetary following a private family service. The family asks that you send donations to the BCMPH in lieu of flowers.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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