Chapter 29: Sacrifice

Funny story written by masterchev

Thursday, 4 November 2010


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Chapter 29: Sacrifice

Jean Le Fete entered through the TARDIS doors, noticing how the old team of renegade Spoofers were gathered determinedly around the console. He noticed how Morse stood near the centre, adjusting his pirate hat, whilst Charpa fiddled with her fishnet stockings out of distraction. His eyes caught how Skoob adjusted his Pork Pie hat, whereas Jaggedone was knelt with Birbee in a moment of silent prayer.

"How much of what has happened is real Carina?" he asked as Masterchev shuffled past with some scones.

"You remember the canteen in Bolivia? You were captured by the Orb then, and forced to wander the Circles of Hell. Mogadishu; Buenos Aries: that was all real. Even the Oracle of Spoofs was just a fib by Mark to distract you." Carina replied, squeezing his hand for reassurance as the doors shut.

"Imagine Jean, the power Queen Mudder had as the Oracle. But it's not just her. It's all of us. We're all the Oracle." Skoob explained, then slapped himself in the head. "I saw this on some crappy film the wife was watching the other day,"

Nick Hobbs was busy hammering co-ordinates into a tiny computer as Carina slung an arm around Jean's shoulders.

"Right now, Monkey Woods will detonate some C4 near the Orb. That should annoy Mark. But imagine if we destroyed it in the past at the same moment? Two Orbs. Two explosions. The power of the Oracle will change the Earth forever!" Carina nodded, then pecked Jean's cheek. "It'll be fine darling."

"Enough of the sciency and romantic shit. Let's get a move on shall we?" Morse yelled, then upon his signal the Spoof writers each lowered a lever. The scanner pinged on to reveal how they had already left the Spoof basement and were hurtling over the Ocean.

"So we're crossing our timelines to create two simultaneous explosions which should prevent Mark from completing his evil plans?" Jean asked, trying to keep up as they hurtled over the blue confines.

"Enough of the science shit Antelope. We're nearly there," Jaggedone yelled. Up ahead, the presence of a small town grew from the horizon. They hurtled on with Jean unaware of the writers desperately clenching the railings.

As they flew over the outskirts, Jean noticed the large orange Orb from the future. An image nearby of Monkey Woods flashed near a countdown, and Jean knew that it was nearly over.

"Hold me Jean," Carina whispered, her voice laden with fear. As he complied, he felt the prick in the side of his neck. Straining, he stared as the elephant transquiliser needle was withdrawn by Carina.

"" Jean mumbled as he felt the drugs numbing his body. Nobody answered as he slowly slid towards the floor. As he watched the countdown timer hit five, a tremendous orange glow filled the room. As everything began to burn around them, he heard Carina's voice above all the yells of bravaderie.

"It was always you Jean. This is why I brought you to the Spoof. This is your destiny. This is Doomsday."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more