Kate Middleton: Inside The Mind Of A Future Queen.

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Thursday, 4 November 2010

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Kate - destined to be our Queen of Hearts

It seems this lovely young lady, who has captured all our hearts - not just Prince William's - is destined to be our Queen one day.

We know what she looks like and the official life story.

But what is she like underneath the royal glamour? What makes her tick?

We sent society editor Melissa Blit-Head to find out. Here is her exclusive report...

The Hon Jemima Boden-Boden has known Kate for many years, she told me all about the future Queen.

M B-H: "What was Kate like at school? Was she academically successful?

J B-B: "To be honest, I joined the school when were in the third form and wasn't in any of her classes, so I don't really know what she was like, academically speaking.

I think she liked geography, but I couldn't swear to it.

M B-H: What about games, sports? Was she the sporty type? What did she like?

J B-B: Well, I was on the netball team so when it came to games classes, I didn't see her much. Other girls played hockey or some had private study in the library. I don't really know what Kate did.

M B-H: OK. After school, then, what kind of things did you all get up to? You must have had some larks - I hear she was quite a card.

J B-B: I wasn't a boarder - so it was home for me every evening and at weekends. I don't know what Kate got up to with the other boarders.

There was a village down the road from the school and that had some shops and a cafe. There was a pub too, but I wouldn't have thought the girls would go in there.

M B-H: What do the old gang get up to these days when you're together? What does Kate like to do for fun?

J B-B: Well, the last time we were all together, it was a for a charity polo event in Harrogate. We had a wonderful time - there are some lovely hotels up there and of course Betty's Tea Room.

Oh - hang on! No. Kate wasn't on that trip... there was me, Caroline B, Ditsy K... no Kate wasn't there. In fact I don't think I've ever been to polo with Kate.

M B-H: She seems to be taking all the attention in her stride. Do you think her background has prepared her for what she must be experiencing.

J B-B: Hmm. Yes. Probably

M B-H: What kind of Queen do you think she's make?

J B-B: Oh, I wouldn't like to say. It's not really my place, after all, is it? I guess she'll do it if she's asked. But that's all I can say, really.

M B-H: Thank you so much for your time, Jemima. It has been fascinating. I'm sure our readers will devour your insights with great interest.

J B-B: Not at all - my pleasure. Glad to be of help.

There you have it... inside the our future Queen. Doesn't she sound delightful?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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