Trapped homosexual miner tells rescue workers to leave them alone

Funny story written by alexc

Thursday, 23 September 2010

image for Trapped homosexual miner tells rescue workers to leave them alone
Andres pictured in Brazil 2008

A homosexual miner trapped in a confined space with 32 other men has pleaded with rescue workers to stop their digging and leave them alone.

The miner, Andres Forme, rejected claims that the men should be rescued and return to their "sham marriages", saying they had "all they needed down here".

Concerns were raised by aid workers after hearing loud groans and heavy breathing from below, with many suspecting their had been a severe disagreement. But Forme insisted the noises were merely a pleasant ritual of "male bonding" they had developed to stay sane and get closer to each other.

Forme strongly rejected the offer of new clothes for the miners, insisting that clothes were not necessary down here and there were other ways of keeping warm. However, he later reconsidered and asked for some "outrageously slutty" fancy dress costumes for a "fabulous party" he was busy planning.

When authorities told them of the timescale of the operation, Forme enquired if there was any way that could be delayed and insisted that his body was now so weak he could only be rescued by a very strong, tall fireman with "big muscles and blue eyes".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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