Shocking New Book: Born Into Sin & Hell Too

Funny story written by Leddy

Thursday, 8 July 2010

The Reverend Daryl Deacon, who has been researching the crisis of dwindling church attendance, and the continuous evolution of man's perception of God for more than two score and ten years has written a shocking new book entitled, Born Into Sin & Hell Too. This informative literal masterpiece traces the complete history of theology all the way back to the primordial swamps of Africa, to the present day cesspools of our own immoral society.

Intriguing Excerpts From The Book:

The bible has been under attack by renegade nonconforming clergymen who have taken it upon themselves to edit and rewrite the word of God. There are now at least ten different versions of the English Bible all reinterpretations of the Authorized King James Version which was published in 1611. If these new age, bible plagiarists would have tried to change one word of the King's Bible in his day, he would of had their heads chopped-off and stuck on poles at the top of the London Bridge.

Today's clergymen are so motivated and manipulated by popular opinion that they have stooped to the lowest level of disgrace in order to increase church membership and donations. 90% of today's clergymen have never attended a bible college and many of them were ordained over the Internet. We now have virtual reality preachers using computers as pulpits, spreading the "Word" in their own warped interpretation of it by telling the world, "Praise God no matter what your perception of the Higher-Power is." Recreating God in your own imaginative image or in your own perception is paganism, and that's blasphemy!

Every few years there's a new translation of the Holy Scriptures published by these "wolves in sheep's clothing" who change the wording of the original bible around just a little more each time, making their new translation of the "Word" more sugar-coated and subliminally auto suggestive. These "False Prophets" are going to burn in the "Lake Of Fire" because little do they know that they're setting the stage for the appearance of the Antichrist.

Take heed, it was the people's own imaginary image of God, and the manipulation of their sacred texts that led to a massive schism in the ancient world and the downfall of the belief systems that we now refer to as mythology.

If we allow these rebellious, renegade, nonconforming pastors and preachers to do the same thing to our concept of God, and our Holy Bible by creating new denominations every time they get a rebellious whim to, then the Christianity that we worship today could very-well become tomorrow's mythology, and our future descendants would then look back on our religion as nothing more than a fanciful but ridiculous fairytale.

Profound Questions (Answered In The Book):

1. If Jesus died for our sins, why is he coming back to kill us for our sins?

2. Did Adam love his first wife Lilith (Jewish Lore & Legend)?

3. If Noah was born already circumcised then why wasn't Jesus?

4. Was Satan the real father of Cain (Jewish Lore & Legend)?

Rerend Daryle Deacoevn is available for a book signing session by calling him direct, or visiting his website.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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