Pastor of the Universe and leader of 'The Church of La-la Land' speaks out about Subo fanatics

Written by Lady Godiva

Saturday, 17 April 2010

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Pastor of the Universe and Leader of the Church of La-la land (Pastor Ted Crilly) speaks

My dear Brothers and Sisters, It is with a feeling of deep sorry that I come to you this morning. It has been brought to my attention that not everyone read my open letter to families and friends of Subo fanatics.

I read in the newspapers that many from the 'now named' Red Scarf Brigade continue to run around the world making dear Susan's life a bit of a misery, if I may be so bold.

A colleague told me that on Susan's birthday, April 1st, a couple of delusional fanatics managed to sneak out of the 'compound' without being noticed and were able to visit Susan and present her with more 'unwanted' gifts.

They brought down the wrath of other members of The Red Scarf Brigade who were mighty angry with the pair for being so secretive and sneaky in their effort to get close to their idol. A suitable punishment or penance is being discussed by their overlords as I write.

I must admit that I had a little chuckle to myself when Susan's people cancelled her trip to Australia. I know this is not the correct behaviour for a 'man of the cloth' but we too have a sense of humour and admire the irony of this situation.

The reason I am amused? Many of The Red Scarf Brigade had already bought tickets for flights to Australia, non-refundable, and booked rooms at expensive hotels for the duration of their stay. Again non-refundable.

Sad but true, a few of the Red Scarf Brigade inadvertently booked to fly to Austria. This is an easy mistake to make.

If my Superior had spoken with Susan's people and had learned of the cancellation of Susan's visit, He says He would NOT have caused the volcanic eruption in Iceland. He did this in an attempt to close down airports. He did this successfully but says it was mainly an effort to 'ground' members of The Red Scarf Brigade.

How do I know this? (I hear you ask!)

God spoke to my friend Ronald Weinland a few days ago and Ronald was kind enough to sell me this information for a small fee.

I continue be concerned about the mental health of The Red Scarf Brigade Members. If you have one in your family or in your circle of friends, please stay close to them. They are going to need you, eventually.

Dog bless you my Brothers and Sisters.

Note from writer: If you read this earlier you would have noticed that the pastor had the country wrong: he said Japan when he meant Australia. He has now corrected his error.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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