Obama Authorizes More TARP Funds to Buy Westminster Kennel Winner for Family!

Funny story written by Morse

Thursday, 18 February 2010

image for Obama Authorizes More TARP Funds to Buy Westminster Kennel Winner for Family!
Obama Tries Again with Purchase of Yet Another White House Dog: Mother In Law Licks Her Lips!

Despite the previous failure of the First Family in raising a family pet, the Portuguese Water Dog, Bo, presumed dead under mysterious circumstances, the President has decided to try again with Best In Breed Winner, Sadie the Scottish Terrier.

The irrepressible Sadie, winner of over 100 shows in her four year career was set for retirement until the Obama kids, who always get everything they want, went into a tantrum telling Barry they 'just had to have Sadie."

In negotiations conducted by Secretary of The Treasury Tim Geithner, and with final approval by Banking and Finance Chairman Barney Frank, some left over stimulus money was found rattling around a non interest bearing account squirreled away by deceased king of pork, John Murtha, who recently died from indigestion during an operation designed to shrink his ravenous appetite for taxpayer money.

While the final amount paid has not been disclosed, it is known that Sadie's Owners were not willing to part with her "for any amount of money!"

According to a government official close to the situation, Rahm Emanuel was brought in to "persuade" them to sell in a heated, and some say threatening
confrontation in which the words "fucking retarded dog lovers" were heard to emerge behind closed doors. Emanuel was also thought to use the term
'eminent domain', a government euphemism for confiscating private property just because they could.

Apparently a deal was finally set, somewhere north of $1M in order to appease the kids, which Obama said was a small price to pay to keep the brats from pestering him while he was posturing in front of his full length mirror in the offal office.

Breeders of Scottish Terriers confirm that Sadie is a high energy pet who requires a lot of exercise, need continuous training, loves to chew on shoes and requires more than periodic grooming. Sadie is also said to love Organic Chicken Hotdogs for her midday treats.

Incensed members of the Humane Society are said to be aghast at the Obama attempt to raise yet another dog in the White House after the last fiasco where rumours abound that FGOTUS, First Grandmother of the United States, Marian Robinson, had done away with Bo in a bizarre witchcraft ceremony ending up with Ragout of Water Dog.

Insiders from the Secret Service said the President has issued strict orders to keep Sadie a safe distance from FGOTUS, and due to present falling popularity polls enflamed by recent comments by VP Joe Biden saying his party is Dysfunctional, the President is said to be considering having Biden put in charge of the K-9 kennel at the White House.

Michelle Obama is said to be ambivalent about the new pet saying, " I don't know much about Scottish Pit Bulls, but a lot of my neighbors had them in Chicago when I was growing up. At least this one is Black and loves Chicken!"

(ED Note: Bo is actually alive and living a wonderful life in Maine with his soul mate Misty the Golden doodle, and his White House Champion, former Secret Service agent Max and his new wife Johanna. Details can be found in the Mag Section where Bo discusses his life in the White House, and his carefully crafted escape)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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