'Roll up
Roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up
Roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up
And that's an invitation
Roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up
From any nation
Roll up for the mystery tour
The magical mystery tour
Is waiting to take you away
Could be Dalmatia today
Roll up
And that's an invitation
Roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up
From any nation
Roll up for the mystery tour
The tragical mystery tour
Is making the USA pay
Wasting their taxes away
The magical mystery tour
Is pointless and silly and bland
Why not go to Iran?
Roll up
You might get scared there
Roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up
Mahmoud just won't care
Roll up for the mystery tour
The magical mystery tour
Impresses no-one in Britain
Or France or in Switzerland
The tragical mystery tour
Does nowt for the US of A
Why not just simply stay ... there
(Words by Paul McMills-Boon; music by John Marx-Leninist)
