Written by walter

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

When the boar became fatally weak, Antonius shouted, "Captain, let go." Captain reluctantly let go of the boar's testicles. Major patted him on the head. Antonius, to avoid attracting wolves and hyenas near his flock, did not want to leave the carcass in the open. He knew there was a deep shaft nearby; but who could drag the 90-kilogram heavy carcass on the rugged terrain? While he was thinking, the hunter of the boar emerged from behind a hilltop, panting. When the hunter saw Antonius near the carcass, angrily shouted, "Hey, wha are you doin'? That's me game."

Major approached him, and said, "Is that a pneumatic rifle?" The enraged hunter tersely replied, "'tis a sho' gun." Antonius asked the man, "What kind of bullet did you use?" Hunter replied, "Pellets." Major said, "You stupid prick. This giant needed a .50 cal. armor-piercing bullet. If you stayed in his way, he would have torn you up. Captain and I had to kill him to save our flock. As to the game, it is all yours, because the Captain and I don't eat meat. However, I warn you if you do not take this carcass away from here, I am going to smash your skull like a walnut. Understood?"

The hunter faintly answered, "Yes, Sir. Me friends be here shortly; we'll skin it ere; field-dress it, and take the mea' away and will bury the bowels ere in a ditch and will cover i' up." Antonius said, "Good. You'd better stick to your words. When finished, wave your hand and I'll send Captain to inspect." Then, turning to Captain, he said, "Captain, let's go; you need to wash you mouth before it gets too late. I wish you wouldn't lick your lips until you wash up."

Before departing, the hunter called him, "Sir, if yer don' ea' mea', then why yer raise sheep?" Antonius made a complete about-face and while holding his tall stick in his right hand at arm's length with the end-point touching his boot and his left hand on Captain's head, he said, "I raise sheep not for meat but for milk, fleece, cheese and the droppings. I never kill any sheep or goat. They die naturally and then will be buried in the family graveyard over there. Got it? Let's go, Captain."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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