Written by matwil

Monday, 23 March 2009

image for Muslimsingles.comma dating web site opens
'Whoh girls just wanna have fu-un ...'

Are you a single Muslim woman? Tired of a secular lifestyle, and sick of wearing nice clothes and makeup, and drinking with your friends after work on a Friday? Then why not join Muslimsingles.comma! Here's a few of the Muslim men you can meet:

'Male, aged 22, seeks female Muslim to stay in the house all day, washing and cleaning and cooking, and having endless children. Must stop drinking and wearing nice clothes - must wear a sack and dirty old bit of cloth round her head. No time wasters.

Male, aged 44, shop owner, seeks wife to work 17 hours a day in his shop. Will endlessly sell alcohol to underage teenagers, and need to understand health and safety regulations, to know how to ignore them. Looks unimportant, must only speak Urdu, and never speak to customers. Day off on January 1.

Male, aged, 66, King, seeks 45th wife, must like desert climate and camels. Will be provided for, but will never leave humble 232-bedroom palace again.

Male, aged 50, seeks 12 year-old for arranged marriage. Slaves welcome to apply, kidnapping can be arranged if your parents aren't keen on you getting married at 12. Will be divorced when you become a woman.

Male, aged 40, wltm girl with degree in explosives, for brief encounter. Marriage essential, after 2-minute honeymoon will be required to go on trip into centre of Jerusalem. Own TNT welcome! No atheists that don't believe in an afterlife, please.

Male, 32, seeks English girl, any age, looks totally irrelevant, for marriage. Must have UK passport. Or get one fairly soon.

Woman, aged 32, wild, crazy, outrageous and sexy stunner, loves wearing short skirts and tight t-shirts, and partying for days on end on drugs and alcohol, seeks other girls for a massive, hedonistic, drunken orgy, starting on a Friday.

No curry eaters or religious freaks, please, or anyone that doesn't respect women, and their right to do whatever they want when they want, and with who they want. Bring your own sense of humour and Ann Summers toys, and plenty of JD's! Let's PARTAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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