Partial Transcript Of O.J. Trial

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Thursday, 11 December 2008


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OJ's girlfriend takes the stand

The following is a partial transcript of the recent O.J. Simpson trial. We offer no comments.

(O.J.'s Girlfriend on the stand)

"Is O.J. dumb?"

"No, your Honoress. He got away with murder didn't he?"

"Objection, your Honor."


"So you're sweet on O.J.?"

"Objection your Honor."

"Objection sustained. You might rephrase that counselor."

"Are you in love with O.J.?"

"Well, part of him."

"Can you tell the jury, in your own words, if he told you he was going to steal his old belongings?"

"I always use my own words...I.."

"Objection your Honor."


"Why did O.J.'s kids stay with him?"

"Well, what if they wanted to kill somebody and get away with it? I.."



(Disturbance in court as O.J. rises from seat)

"Your Honor, my appointed attorney don't know shit. He hasn't rhymed a single thing. All he does is object."

"Sit down, Mr. Simpson."

"This is a bunch of bullshit..."

"Sit Down, Mr. Simpson!"

"You old bitch. What are...."

"SIT DOWN, CAUSE YOU ARE A CLOWN! Does that rhyme enough for you?"

"Your Honor, my friends set me up because the previous judge and jury found me not guilty. I think they already had their sights on a big TV or stereo to steal and I ruined the riots by winning!"

"Court will take a recess until you get your client settled down, Mr. Grasso"

(Sound of people leaving courthouse)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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