TV listings

Funny story written by News Jam3

Monday, 1 September 2008

Television is getting weird these days

8:00 Scooby Doo - The team investigate an apparent suicide that just doesn't add up.

8:30 Scooby Doo - Fred seems to think there is a connection between two workers from the same factory being murdered with an eight year difference, is there a connection?

9:00 Morning talk - chat show hosted by James bonds son, jersey bond. Today Sir Kill-a-lot from robot wars pops in to talk about her new book and we meet the man responsible for breaking broken biscuits.

11:00 Tile Town (R) (W)

12:00 Homes under the wrecking ball (W)

12:30 The American Sitcom - (3/70) Comedy about a dysfunctional family. Brad takes 40 women out on a date at the same time to the same restaurant telling 10 of them that he is French, will he get mixed up? (S)

1:00 FILM - Examy-bot (1995) : Dark comedy in which Michael Cane plays a robot who is programmed to take exams but get a few questions wrong to spur students on into beating a machine. Contains flashing images (of shoes).

2:00 Shane Richie's Showtime hour (S)

2:30 News at Noon - The latest news before it happens

3:00 Da-Crew - (R)

3:30 Ray Mears zombie attack - (4/6) Weapons: the survival expert shows use how almost anything can be used to destroy the brain or remove the head.

4:00 Weirdoes say the silliest things! - (W) (S)

5:00 Kemp - light entertainment show. Ross Kemp brakes into someone's house and rearranges the furniture before they get home.

6:00 Location, Location, Location, Location, Location, Location, Location, Location. - Lifestyle program for gypsies.

7:00 The secret billionaire: Bill Gates visits Winsor and donates three million pounds to a private school to build another music centre and eight million to a profession dramatics company to build a new 4000 seat theatre.

7:30 Baldy! - Quiz show in which the contestant has to guess which one of the line up is bald.

8:00 truly the worst week of my life - (1/7) Howard loses his arms and everyone in the world apart from him dies.

8:30 The British Sitcom - comedy about a dysfunctional family. This week the family cleverly insult each other in ever more witty ways. (S)

9:00 The panel show -(6/6) four good comedians and two rubbish comedians take a sideways look at the news and battle it out to see who can use the most bad language.

9:00 that's so raven - nature documentary in which a raven behaves typically. (W)

10:00 FILM - Crazy Daze (2000): comedy staring Eddie Murphy as a straight faced martial arts expert hit man with no emotions whilst Jed Li is a mouthy, flamboyant, witty professor. (W)

11:00 Hail to the shrimp - Repeat of yesterdays episode. (R).

12:00 Close-Down.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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