Evil in America

Funny story written by AliceinWonderland238

Saturday, 19 July 2008

image for Evil in America
Former Evil Genius

Are you one to feel intense joy after dipping your cat in hydrochloric acid? Or, how about an exhilarating high after robbing your 80 year old grandma? Ecstasy after stealing candy from children? (Hell yea!, I got the squirt's Snickers! Mwahahaha!) If you answered yes to any of the questions, you might be a candidate for the national "Evil in America" campaign.

About the Program:

The mission of the organization is simply to advocate the evil agenda across America in hopes of fueling the up rise of an evil genius. Bush is in his last year of his reign, and it is time for the next evil mastermind to emerge; hopefully, this time he will be an actual genius…. Across America, whoever commits the most heinous, immoral, malevolent acts will win the title Evil Genius and will be implanted as the next President.

Where you come in:

As a member of the 'Evil in America' campaign, you are required to perform at least three evil deeds throughout the day. This is to promote sin and wickedness and draw you closer with 'the dark one' (aka Evil Dark Overlord Mr. Snugglepuffs). Simple actions such as playing Guantanamo, House Addition; or even shopping at the local Wal-Mart can be considered one of your evil deeds of the day. Of course, it is important to commit real sin occasionally; just murder some old hag, or microwave a puppy. In addition, always remember that after every deed you must chuckle the 'evil' laugh…..Mwahahaha!

*Bonus Evil Deeds*

  • Fry your neighbor's pet goldfish
  • Set fire to your arch-enemy's house
  • Snotify your brother's toothbrush

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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