Tips on pleasing your man

Written by Flaminroids

Thursday, 10 July 2008

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

Forget any useless rhetoric you read in Cosmo, this is the real deal from a real man. I've taken some previous bullshit and translated them into truth. So read on at your own peril bitches!

Do little things to let your man know you are thinking of him!- Ok men don't care what you are thinking about. We are creatures of action dammit! When we come home we want to see results like fresh pancakes and cold beer. Not stupid ass little notes on the toilet lid. We just pee on those.

When your man comes home, give him a sexy surprise!- Want to know how men feel about surprises? Millions of japanese people were killed last time somebody decided to surprise us. When a man comes home he has a plan. Take a shit. Eat. Take another shit. Watch t.v. Sleep. Don't mess with the natural order. A man will buy sex when he wants it.

Call him at work and tell him you love him!- Ok get his ass fired then bitch about how he can't pay the bills. Sounds like a great idea. Don't call us at work please. Work and the toilet are the only places we can get peace and quiet. Don't take that away. Or else witch trial time.

Become involved in his guys night to show you can be one of the boys!- No! I actually read this and I about ruptured an artery from anger. We not only ignore you on your "girls night" we encourage your no hobby havin ass get out of the house. Men only like 2 kinds of times. Time away from you and time you are away.

So next time you read some crap from either women or male traitors, consult a man on if these are truths. And by consult I mean show him your boobs then ask with less than 15 words.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more