From Many Twits, One Loud Voice on the Internet

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Sunday, 22 April 2007


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Internet Service Serves Twits

The New York High Times - Slapstream - "ONLY connect," the English novelist E. M. Forester admonished mankind. From the many Twits on Tweeter, the loudest voice speaks best for their image.

"I use Tweeter all the time," said President Bush, the largest twit in the world, "That's how me and Tony got together."

To date, President Bush has been the most frequent user of Tweeter, typing pop-up messages to his gay lover, Prime Minister Tony Blair to whom he now is engaged. Paul Terry Wahlrus, a gray-haired blogger from Austin, Tex., has 9,177 friends and 1,851 followers, according to the tracking site Tweetterholic. President George Bush has only 1 friend, Tony Blair, but 10,666 hits per day and a "mess of gud Christian Right followers," as Bush put it.

A CIA informer leaked out this Tweeter message to Blair after his friend, CIA agent Valerie E. Wilson, had her identity exposed by the Bush Administration:

Deer Toni,

I em lookin' fourwerd too are marige. Is gay sex still legul over there in Englund? Them damn Demokrouts want let me repeel the laws on gay sex in this kuntry cause I told all them gaze that they wuz goin to hell. I had too mak my Chrishun Prezidant emige luk gud tho or thoz Nazi... I mean Crishun Ritists wuldn't support me. Plez don't be mad honee.

President Bush was outraged at the release, saying that he was going to have ALL the Internets closed down until his S.S. agents could give it a "thurow goin' over." President Bush expects the Internet to be back up in time for his wedding to Blair.

"After all," said Bush, "I want all them gud peeple to see mi hapeest day."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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