Effective Methods of Getting Yourself Killed

Funny story written by Who The Hell Is Mohit?

Tuesday, 18 March 2008


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A dead rat.

Okay, here are some ways by which, I think, you can attain an easy death[*]. It depends on where you live, so I'll post it in a viewer-friendly format.

-Ask the average guy on the street to shoot you. Almost everyone has a gun.
-Go to Florida and wait for an alligator attack.

-Blame the Queen.
-Blame the Queen.

-Shout "Heil Hitler" in a busy Berlin street.
-Refuse to drink beer.

-Enter a football stadium.

-Be anti-Hindutva.
-Bathe in the Ganges.
-Wait for a leopard strike.

-Don't support Musharraf.

-Crop poppy.
-Support the Taliban.
-Support the US.

-Find oil.

South Africa
-Have sex. Then realize that everyone is suffering from AIDS.

-Stand on the border.
-Enter Israel.

-Pledge that you'll find 5 humans before eating a grain of food.

-Say that the pope is gay.

-Oppose Communism.
-Be from Tibet.
-Have kids.

North Korea
-Oppose Kim Jong-il.
-Be an internet addict.

Sri Lanka
-Wait for a Tsunami.

-Live in Tokyo.
-Don't buy a Wii.

-Ride a kangaroo.

Central Africa
-Too many ways.

Canada, Sweden, Norway
-No possible way.

Anywhere on the Earth
-Talk about disarmament.
-Use Chinese products.
-Confront the US.
-Behave like Britney Spears.
-Read this drivel.

[*]=Conditions apply.
NOT tested on animals.

If there's an easier way, why do it any other way?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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