I recently, well, really over the last ten years or so, spent tens of thousands of dollars for high-priced sex with hoes. I lost my job and probably my marriage. My daughters will probably never respect me again.
Olie, the ole married man, can you help me?
Dear Triple X,
I don't recognize your brand but I know that life on the ranch must be as tough as life in a Norwegian fjord. But man, TENS of THOUSANDS of DOLLARS?! My Irish advice columnist, Nevr Drinkwater would say: "Are you daft, boyo!"
XXX, money is money. Do you have any idea how much super slip n slide sexsual lubricant and HoleyMoley Pocket Pussies you could have bought with all that dough? Plus, with a little discretion and some sound proofing you would still be gov, er, I mean, still have your old job, whatever that was and your dear wife whoever she is.
But, Olie, the ole married man, your marriage advice columnist will not join you in crying over spilt milk or any other body fluid. Move on, Amigo. Look up my other cousin at Dear Paraphernalia4Your Genitalia and we just may have some endorsement monet for ya, guv!