How to Meet Women Book Hits Number One

Funny story written by drugtestallpoliticians

Wednesday, 9 January 2008

Pahokee, Florida (IPP) - Dr. Upp Chuck's latest book on how to meet women has hit the top of the best seller's list this week as both men and women flock to bookstores trying to find a copy of the popular book.

The following is a list of tactics recommended by the good doctor for guys who want to improve their chances with the ladies:

1- Stare at her. Stare at the lady of your desires in dark places like bars and restaurants. He advises his readers not to blink while staring.

2- Hesitate before approaching her. Walking up to her two or three times before introducing yourself will win her over every time. Fiercely scratching your head during this period is critical.

3- Do not smile. Smiling will make you look like a weak little whimp he says.

4- Body language. Keep your arms crossed at all times while talking to your next date and your legs spread apart as far as possible.

5- Eye contact. Never look her directly in the eye.

6- Listening skill. Ignore everything she says and asks and skip on to a new subject.

7- Fidgetting is good. Don't just stand there like a statue.

8- Tone of voice. Listen to Hitler's speeches and try to recite them word for word to you future bride - in German if possible. Don't forget the hand gestures and arm movements that go along with the speech. It worked for Ada.

9- Tuck in your shirt. Raise your pants high up almost to your chest and tuck in your shirt around your chest.

10 - Shoes - Wear two different shoes and tell her you have a pair just like them at home - just in reverse.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more