News on the March - 1932

Written by Afishlips

Saturday, 8 September 2007

image for News on the March - 1932
A group of dandy fellows NOT riding a bicycle with the giant wheel.

In recent news, talky pictures are all the rage. The bible is the #1 best selling book in America and something fishy is going on in Europe, with that no good Hitler Fella. Boy there's a chap I'd like to box right in the puss - just like we did to the kaiser.

In other news, Your grandparents ate stale turnips for dinner, worked 96 hour workdays, marched to school 40 miles uphill in the snow wearing only battered soapcans and potatoes for warmth, and everyone had a gay time in the gay nineties riding around on a gay trolley.

In music news easy listening, crooning white men top the music charts as that devil jazz has no place in polite society. why the only thing possibly worse than jazz music would be if someone took a guitar, added electricity like in a wireless radio or a neon sign and added clattering drumming and a singer not singing about holding a ladies hand while they waltz 7 feet apart or Jesus. Why that'd be worse than some crazy man saying we're related to monkeys or that blacks and whites are equal! Music like that would go down like a Led Zeppelin Derigible Airship!

Its 1932 and everyone from president hoover to Al Jolson to Charlie McCarthy is doing the lindy hop while we persecute the Irish, smash up bootleggers, a troll around town on bicycles with the giant wheel.

Surely this is the pinnacle of human achievement!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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