Lonely Hearts

Written by Ben Macnair

Tuesday, 7 August 2007

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The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Bearded Male with GSOH seeks similar female for Naturist Morris Dancing. Must provide own stick and Bells.

Thelma from Scooby Doo seeks Daphne, for fun times, and I would have gotten away with it as well if it hadn't been for those meddling kids.

Man with overly talkative wife seeks a decent set of ear-plugs. Must be discrete.

Television Presenter seeks audience for career prospects.

Young Fifties looking forty year old seeks similar male to make her feel old.

Old Man seeks his own pair of dentures. Must only come out at night.

Man who is sick of sex seeks pigs with their own wings.

Makers of Reality Television seek original ideas.

Former Prime Minister seeks his own integrity. Price he was paid for it can be returned.

Ying seeks Yang.

Peter Pan seeks Wendy to grow old with.

Old Millionaire seeks young wife, who will treat him well.

Hello seeks Goodbye.

Full stop seeks incomplete sentence.

Rhyming Couplet seeks three rhyming lines for limerick.

Old Comedian seeks jokes to cause offence.

Old Comedian seeks clock to keep him up with the times.

Miserable celebrity seeks self awareness.

Pop star seeks assistant who will dare say no occasionally. And mean it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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