Ban Nursery Rhymes and Fairy Tales NOW!

Funny story written by NickFun

Thursday, 2 February 2006

Would THIS Put You To Sleep???

I was at a friends house the other night as she was singin her baby off to sleep with a children's Lullaby. The song goes as such:

Rock-a-bye baby, in the tree top
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby, cradle and all

The beginning of this ballad is indeed relaxing. The kid is rocking gently with the wind and it's very peaceful. But it takes on a whole new significance toward the end of the song when the branch breaks and the baby comes crashing to the ground! I can only envision the remains of the baby lying there in a pool of blood with a tree branch sticking through the cradle! This is one of the most gruesome things that can happen to either a baby or a parent! And we expect this disturbing nightmare to put kids to SLEEP???!!! This song must have been written by either a child abuser or a sociopath!

Of course, even bedtime stories such as "Hansel & Gretel" are supposed to lull children off to slumber. Here is the story of two children who rob the lady, eat her house then throw her into an oven and watch her cook to death!

I recall the "Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe". It goes as follow:

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
She had so many children she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth without any bread,
Then whipped them all soundly
And put them to bed.

Here's a lady living in the most horrible abject poverty, starving and whipping her children. We read this stuff to kids?

How about the famous "Ring Around the Rosey"? Here's the facts on that one:

The words to the Ring around the rosy children's ring game have their origin in English history . The historical period dates back to the Great Plague of London in 1665 (bubonic plague) or even before when the first outbreak of the Plague hit England in the 1300's. The symptoms of the plague included a rosy red rash in the shape of a ring on the skin (Ring around the rosy). Pockets and pouches were filled with sweet smelling herbs ( or posies) which were carried due to the belief that the disease was transmitted by bad smells. The term "Ashes Ashes" refers to the cremation of the dead bodies! The death rate was over 60% and the plague was only halted by the Great Fire of London in 1666 which killed the rats which carried the disease which was transmitting via water sources.

Damn! 3-year-old are into this stuff! How about Red Riding Hood where the grandmother gets eaten. Or Snow White where the hottest babe in the land is living with seven horny dwarves?

It never ends!

Is it any wonder kids are messed up?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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