New Grass Roots Political Party

Funny story written by Eliduc

Monday, 16 August 2004

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"Bring em on..."

The Undecided Party by Chuck Michel

I am not a Republican nor a Democrat. I belong to a new grassroots third party called the Undecideds. The title may be a misnomer since we Undecideds are not undecided at all. We know perfectly well who we are not going to vote for in the next presidential election, which is neither the Republican nor the Democratic nominee. There are those who will say, "But a non vote is a vote for John Kerry." Our undecided answer is, " Yeah? So What? We don't care." We don't agonize over which candidate is less evil or less competent. We tend to believe most of the negative information published about each candidate. Bush is the cowboy "Bring em on" wanna be who threatens our constitutional liberties, compromises our national security and economy, has quagmired us in Iraq and has isolated us from the other nations of the world. He is also a Corpo who advocates shipping our jobs over seas and illegal immigrants across our borders. He attacks our clean air and water acts, our national parks, and bestows lower taxes on the wealthiest corporations and the ultra rich few who already pay too little or none. Bush is so "left behind" that in four years (Well, really his entire life) he has not learned how to pronounce "nuclear" or "illiterate." It seems that four names do not a genius make.

Less is known about Kerry. It appears that he is both a war coward and an opportunist. He may have orchestrated his own early exit from the Viet Nam war in order to accuse his fellow soldiers of war crimes from the safety of American soil. He has neglected to come forward to deny the allegations while refusing to release his own military records. Being married into the Heinz tomato family, who has financially supported anti American organizations, Kerry is at least as much of a Corpo as Bush. Kerry is anti family values and has supported the homosexual and feminist agendas. As a senator he has voted against the ban on partial birth murder, our national security and military preparedness. Yet, recently Kerry has come out of the closet and proclaimed himself to be a "sensitive" war hawk. Perhaps that signifies "chicken" hawk.

In this election we Undecideds are probably Bush's worst nightmare. In the polls Bush is significantly behind Kerry (beyond the margin of error) in the key swing states such as California, Michigan and Oregon. Bush needs our undecided vote to win. He is not going to get our votes because we Undecideds possess the integrity not to give our vote to any candidate who is unfit to lead our country. An unfit candidate will be elected in this election but not by our undecided hand. In four years perhaps we will be Kerry's nightmare.... for in close elections it is the Undecided Party that wields the power. In this election it is the Undecideds who will be the winners. WE ARE THE POWER! WE ARE THE POWER! WE ARE...... In the future the other parties will be forced by the Undecideds to finally nominate competent candidates who possess integrity. Or perhaps we may have a convention and nominate our own Undecided candidate.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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