Bush Campaign Documents Leaked: Bush goes for popular vote this time!

Funny story written by Unconfirmed Source

Thursday, 24 June 2004

image for Bush Campaign Documents Leaked: Bush goes for popular vote this time!
Bush goes old school?

Unconfirmed Sources report shocking revelations found in Bush campaign documents. The documents show a complete change in the Bush election strategy. To win the next election they plan to 'get more votes than the other guy!'

One Washington insider is amazed by the change in plans. "This is huge." said a congressional staffer, who wished to remain anonymous. "This is a big change for them and a real risk. It's obvious that Mr Bush feels like he needs to do something new to pull off the coming election. He is so wedded to tradition it says something that he is leaving a tried and true strategy for something new."

The documents describe the bold plan in the simplest terms. They plan to run negative ads to slander Kerry and use a raft of dirty tricks to depress democratic turn out. They also plan to raise more money and spend it in battle ground states in an attempt to win the popular vote.

One campaign staffer helped to further explain the change of plans. "It's like this. We just think the Supreme Court is not reliable enough. They came though once and took a lot of heat. If the election got into their hands again we feel they might feel obligated to give it to the other guy this time. We just can't risk going 'business as usual' on this one. If we had been able to replace a couple of Justices things would be different, but it just wasn't in the cards."

Machiavelli would be proud of such a plan. Mr Bush is proving once again he has what it takes to be a real political fighter. This bold plan could easily have taken the Kerry Campaign by surprise had the documents not been leaked. The FEC, DOJ, FBI, CIA, NSA, and the NAACP are all launching investigations to find and punish the source of the leak.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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