Brad Pitt Says Angelina Jolie Has It All - Class, Sass, and A Great Looking Ass!

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 19 August 2011


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Brad says that Angie is fantastic in the kitchen. (Photo taken by Johnny Depp).

ENSENADA, Mexico - Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie left their half dozen kids with six nannies at their mansion in Provence, France and flew to Ensenada, Mexico for a much needed vacation.

The couple stayed at Eva Longoria's La Happy Hacienda Hotel where they spent three fun-filled days frolicking at the hotel's nude beach and drinking at the hotel's El Mucho Glad Iguana Bar where they threw down lots of Papaya Margaritas.

Brad and Angie spoke with Laguna Vendetta a reporter with Mexico's Las Maracas News Agency. She asked Pitt about the rumor that he had been thinking about leaving Angie and getting back together with Jennifer Aniston.

Brad laughed. He asked Angie to stand up. She did. He then got real close to Vendetta and asked, "Now Senora Vendetta take a damn good look at Ms. Jolie. Do you for one friggin second think that I, in my right mind, would ever walk away from that?"

He told Angie to turn around which she willingly did. "Senora can I have an answer please?"

Miss Vendetta blushed as she gave the stunningly sexy Jolie several up and down 'once overs' and replied, "Wow, Mr. Pitt, you are, as the local hombres (men) down her say, "One berry lucky son-of-a-beach."

Pitt asked Angie to sit down. Angie did and asked Brad to hand her a towel because she wanted to cover up her naked crotch region.

Brad told Vendetta that Angie is such a damn good cook that she can take day old roadkill and make it taste like a T-bone steak.

He beamed with pride as he pointed out that she is so fantastic in the kitchen that she'll get a box of Rice Krispies Cereal, pour them in a mixing bowl, add a little of this and a little of that, and have those little suckers tasting like escargot in no time at all.

"And the woman is an absolute she-devil in the sewing department." Pitt added proudly, "Hell you see these blue jeans I'm wearing? My Angie sewed them for me a week ago Thursday."

A very impressed Miss Vendetta remarked that Angie is astoundingly amazing.

Pitt nodded his head, stood up, and gave Angie a great big, lingering French kiss. He then said that he would not trade Angie for two Jennifer Aniston's, three J.Lo's, or four Christina Aguilera's.

Angie dabbed a tear from Brad's eye as he said that Angie has it all, class, sass, and a great looking ass. And with that Brad respectfully told Vendetta that the interview was over. He picked Angie up and carried her up to their honeymoon suite.

In a non-related story. Ann Coulter is denying the rampant rumor going around that she has a tattoo with the name Charlie Sheen tattooed across her bikini line.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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