Nobody is really interested in celebrity culture, says Jordan

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Saturday, 13 August 2011


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O.M.G - she is up there with Dickens.......

Talented novelist Katie Price and her topless buoyancy aid alter ego Jordan have both admitted that their time in the sun is probably nearly over.

The well respected compiler of words explained that people have more to worry about than who she's am going out with, or the latest trends in celebrity self improvement.

'I have only just realised, for example that only a fraction of the world's population actually care about my daily struggles with my talents, and of those that do care, most of them hate me.'

Ms Price explained that it all started when she decided to Google herself.

'I was like, this is just so like, hateful and everything. A lot of people wanted me to go away, in worse language, but as this is a family publication, I have to be respectful to your readers, don't I?'

'I thought, it can't just be me, I think it is probably the whole celebrity culture that people hate. I mean, I can't help but be fabulous, all of my projects are successful and everything, I have more money than most people, so I don't think that that is what they hate me for.'

She continued, much against protestations from our, souls, which were slowly dying at the time, to tell us that she had subsequently carried out some research into other famous people, like Dame Judi Dench, and Thora Hird. Katie told us that nobody had anything nasty to say about them.

'I think maybe it is just the current crop. People said horrendous things about Jedward, Simon Cowell, and Piers Morgan, and I love all of those people, don't you?'

Jordan is conceding that perhaps her fifteen minutes are up. While she admits the experience has been fun, if she is no longer considered everyone's favourite renaissance woman, she will be happy to step out of the limelight.

We don't believe her though, as she now employs a ghost speaker as well as a ghost writer.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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