'Pirates of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides' Is A Huge Success Even Though All of Penelope Cruz and Johnny Depp's Nude Scenes Were Cut Out

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 22 May 2011

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image for 'Pirates of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides' Is A Huge Success Even Though All of Penelope Cruz and Johnny Depp's Nude Scenes Were Cut Out
A photo of Captain Jack Sparrow's original pirate ship, The Black Pearl.

HOLLYWOOD - The producers of Johnny Depp's fourth movie in the Pirates of The Caribbean series are thrilled at the movie's success.

The film titled Pirates of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides opened to packed theaters from Pittsburgh to Paris and Pocatello to Pyongyang.

Johnny Depp who portrays Captain Jack Sparrow told Coquette Eucalyptus of The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette that he personally felt that when the movie's top executives had decided to cut out all of the nude scenes between his character and Angelica (Penelope Cruz's character) that he felt it would hurt the film's attendance.

But he learned from Ellen DeGeneres that a movie production company insider revealed that the reason the nude scenes were cut out was to encourage the movie goers in the 60 to 90 age range to see the film.

Depp did note that the producers will later release an X-rated version for national distribution which will include the 19 nude scenes between Captain Jack Sparrow and Angelica that were cut.

Johnny is very happy with the movie and added that he was glad to see Ian McShane's character Blackbeard have more speaking lines than before.

He said that a new character that was added to the fourth pirate installment is a gay buccaneer named Pinkbeard. Depp said that noted actor Nathan Lane portrays Pinkbeard and he does an excellent job, especially with the swashbuckling lisp.

Depp giggled as he said that Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richard has a part as Captain Teague. The role was actually going to originally go to Mick Jagger, but the movie executives decided that Jagger looked much too old.

One change from the novel that Depp brought out to Miss Eucalyptus is that in the movie Blackbeard's buccaneer galleon is known as Queen Anne's Revenge. But in reality Blackbeard's pirate ship was actually named Queen Anne's Arse, but it was changed for the obvious reason.

A bit of Pirates of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides trivia. The pirate phrase 'shiver me timbers' is uttered a total of 29 times throughout the movie. The word 'barnacle' is spoken 16 times. And the term 'thar she blows' is mentioned 7 times, 3 times in reference to Angelica.

The movie was filmed in 3D and Smell-O-Vision and was shot on location up in The Gulf of Alaska, which greatly resembles the Caribbean Sea except for the icebergs, polar bears, and Eskimo igloos.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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