Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Deny That Angie Is With Child

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

image for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Deny That Angie Is With Child
Four of the six Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie children. (Photo courtesy of George Clooney).

PROVENCE, France - One of the most famous celebrity couples has of late been having their share of marital ups and downs.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie who have half a dozen children have been arguing and carrying on like the Arnold Schwarzenegger's. Both Pitt and Jolie are very strong individuals who are not used to bending or to giving an inch.

The French news publication Le News Agency has stated that Brad still holds some resentment at the fact that Angelina stole him away from his wife Jennifer Aniston.

Pitt told Le News' Gigi de Maupassant that he was perfectly happy as a clam with Jenn and then he went off and made that friggin movie Mr. & Mrs. Smith with Angelina Jolie and Jolie fell in love with him, she offered him her tuzzy muzzy (pink palace) and the rest as they say is history.

De Maupassant asked him if he perhaps didn't have something to do with his going after Jolie as well. Pitt took a sip from his wine bottle. He shook his head and told de Maupassant that Angie told him a year later that everything went just as she had planned it.

When asked if he still thinks about Aniston, Pitt replied only at night, when it's quiet and when Angie is not around. He revealed that he thinks about how sexy Jennifer looked in her super skimpy pink bikini swimsuit that he bought her the last Valentine's Day that they were together.

Pitt also confessed that he misses the way she used to French kiss his ears. He said that Angie does it once in a while but that with her gigantic-as-hell tongue, he ends up with some awful ear cavity bruises.

De Maupassant asked Brad about the rumor that had started in Wales that Angelina was pregnant with his child. Pitt took another drink from his wine bottle and replied that in order for Angie to get pregnant he would have to stick his you-know-what into her you-know-what, and that just hasn't happened in a bit of a while.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: TMI? No way. Miss de Maupassant has a scoop that no other news agency has.]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more