Celebrity Apprentice: Star Jones and NeNe Leakes Get Involved In An Off-Camera "Titillatingly Explicit" Catfight!

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 3 May 2011


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Before she had her stomach stapled Star Jones said she'd eat five submarine sandwiches a day.

NEW YORK CITY - Celebrity Apprentice contestant La Toya Jackson got fired by Donald Trump last week and before she left she called Star Jones the biggest back stabber since Benedict Arnold.

And this week NeNe Leakes, who appears on the reality show The Real Housewives of Atlanta not only called Star Jones a back stabber (at least 14 times) but she also called her a punk ass bitch, a tuna-lipped skank, and a GOP kiss ass.

Jones, did not say a word. This is probably due to the fact that NeNe to put it mildly is one big ass friggin woman. The gal could play on the Green Bay Packers right now and without even having to try out.

She could probably give world wrestling champion Chris Jericho a run for his money in the ring and like she told "Bones" Jones she will take the skinny ass black bitch and use her to dust Donald Trump's freakin desk.

Jones probably weighs about 150 pounds but before she had her stomach stapled she was tipping the scales at a wrestling weight of 365.

The woman used to salt her ham sandwiches. She would pour ice cream on her chitlins, Oreo cookies on her hamhocks, and hot dog wieners in her bowl of Sugar Frosted Flakes.

And now that she has slimmed down she thinks that her sweat don't smell as NeNe stated.

At one point Donald Trump had to physically come between Star and NeNe and he told NeNe to give Star back her wig. NeNe took it and rubbed it against her groin area and told Jones that she could have it back now.

Jones ran to the bathroom holding her mouth.

After the cameras stopped rolling for the day. NeNe again confronted Star in an empty hallway. The only person around was La Toya Jackson whom Trump had rehired.

NeNe told Star that she is nothing but a loudmouth bitch who always has to be butting into everyone else's business. She added that she needs to worry about her effen self and stop trying to tell others what they need to be doing.

Star started crying and replied that she just wants for Donald Trump's reality show to do good. NeNe hollered out that Trump's show is doing good, damn good and that they don't need no jive ass former chubster to come in and start fixing shit that ain't broke.

Jones nodded that they were right. She said that she was going to have a talk with herself and see if she could convince herself to stop stressing over what everyone else is wearing, or eating, or driving.

"Good for you." NeNe remarked.

Star could just not leave well enough alone and she uttered under her breath 'shut up housewife.'

Well NeNe heard her and she jumped on her like stink on a pig and she proceeded to beat the ever living daylights out of the smart-mouthed, egomaniacal skank.

NeNe tore her blouse off revealing what La Toya called the damn ugliest bra that she had ever seen. NeNe grabbed it, tore it off, and when it fell to the floor so did both of Star's tits.

La Toya, being the sweet girl that she is started yelling and screaming. NeNe almost turned white, well let's make that kind of light black, which is really more realistic.

Jones started to run but she tripped on her mammaries and hit her head on a trash can. NeNe yelled out asking Star what the hell had happened to her danglers. Star was so upset she could not answer.

Just then they noticed that the elevator was stopping on their floor and all three women ran towards the stairwell.

Hope Dworaczyk, a white model who did not do diddly squat on the show but basically try and keep a low profile was fired by Donald "The Hairdo From Hell" Trump.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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