Fern Britton's New Chat Show - TV Repair Man Issues Warning

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Monday, 28 March 2011

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When Fern Britton launches her new chat show on Channel 4 today she will hope to please one viewer in particular - TV Repair Man.

The vigilante, who has vowed to rid the TV schedules of reality shows and banal daytime programming, will be watching the launch with interest.

He has already enjoyed some success since he launched his agenda three weeks ago - most notably when Coleen Nolan announced she was quitting ITV's lunchtime "drivel-fest" Loose Women.

Channel 4 are pinning considerable hope on the new show which is claimed will be in the classic chat show style - celebrities, real life stories, music and so on.

In a communiqué issued to EIF News & Features, TV Repair Man said: "Ms Britton has a track record for popular but considered TV. This would appear to be a sensible move by Channel 4 - the tea-time slot has been traditionally been filled with appalling soap-style drama or mind-numbing game shows.

"That Ms Britton's show launches on the same day that the BBC began a new morning series looking at the history of the British people over the last 100 years is gratifying.

"TV Repair Man expecially welcomes using former England spin bowler Phil "Tuffers" Tufnell as a presenter on A Hundred Years Of Us.

"With a new afternoon drama (32 Brinkburn Street) launching on the same day, there are signs that the schedulers and producers are taking heed of the viewing public's demands.

"But beware! TV Repair Man watches everything... should Ms Britton's show descend into the kind of banality of personality-centred chat that has been witnessed over recent years, retribution will be swift and terrible!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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