Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 30 December 2010

image for The Real Reason Why Miley Cyrus Is Acting Like She's Lindsay Lohan
Miley photographed by Bret Michael's daughter Raine Maker Michaels.

VENICE BEACH - Miley Cyrus spent some time at the Venice Beach beach house of Bret Michaels and his family over the Christmas holidays.

Miley and Bret's two daughters Raine Maker, 10, and Jorga Mind, 5, all exchanged gifts. Raine gave Miley a diamond encrusted guitar pick and Jorga gave Miley a pair of expensive Oakley sunglasses.

Miley gave Raine a CD featuring a song that her and Bret (Michaels) had recorded "Nothing To Lose But Your Reputation."

Cyrus gave Jorja an autographed 8 by 10 glossy of herself shown giving the producer of her movie The Last Dance, Adam Shankman a lap dance.

Bret told Miley that he had been quite busy touring and all and so he did not have time to shop for a gift for her. He then took out his wallet and gave her $400. He told her to buy herself something pretty with the logo of his favorite NFL football team the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Miley confessed that he had completely forgotten all about getting him a gift since the big divorce mess that her dad Billy Ray and her mom Tish were going through which according to some of the media was most probably caused by a secretive affair between Bret and Tish.

Bret being the joker that he is smiled and told Miley not to worry about it and that he would gladly just settle for one of her patented lap dances.

Miley did not say a word but did give Bret a wink. After Raine and Jorga had gone upstairs to bed Miley and Bret had a nice long talk. He asked her why it was that she was beginning to act like Lindsay Lohan.

Cyrus got a puzzled look on her face and asked him what he meant. Bret hesitated but then told her that lately she has been going around exposing her third base, grabbing the gazongas of other girls, bong binging, doing a bit of junk in the trunk fondling, and even a hush hush case of bearded taco nibbling.

Miley giggled. She then laughed. And she then started coughing. She stood up and walked towards the fireplace, which was not lit since they were, after all, in Los Angeles.

She told Bret that she was going to confide in him something very confidential. Bret told her he was all ears.

Miley said that after playing Hannah Montana for several years and being type cast into a role as a 'goody goody two shoes' she was ready to break out of that mold and play the part of a 'baddy baddy two thigh high boots.'

The amazingly rich songstress revealed that she had told herself that now that Lindsay Lohan is confined to a rehab clinic that it would be the perfect time for her (Miley) to come on out full steam ahead and take over Lindsay Lohan's celebrity diva (slash) prima donna place.

She smiled, took a sip of her glass of Sangria Wine, and told Bret that she is no longer the sweet little Disney girl from the Hannah Montana Show. She now, wants to be thought of as the next American bad (ass).

Bret shook his head. He told her that being the next Lindsay Lohan isn't exactly what a young girl should strive to be. He then told her that she needed to try and be more like respectable women such as Diane Sawyer, Katie Couric, and Meredith Viera.

Miley put down her glass of Sangria and her bong and stood in front of Michaels. She started lap dancing as she sang the words to her song "Can't Be Tamed."

Bret smiled and said, "You know Miley, I guess you're right, the heck with Sawyer, Couric, and Viera. They're all just a bunch of old sticks-in-the-mud huh?"

"Yeppers." Miley answered as she kept on singing and swaying to the music as Johnny Rivers would say .

In other news. The Black Eyed Peas front man will.i.am. who had said that he was going to change his name to will.i.ain't has decided not to since it would have entailed having to change over 32 of his credit cards.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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