Naked Nude Celebrity Topless Penis Vagina Picture Calendar Sales In Decline

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Naked Nude Celebrity Topless Penis Vagina Picture Calendar Sales In Decline
Buy The Calendar Or Get Smaller Portions.

Media mogul and market trader cum kebab and pizza shop entrepreneur, Ali Bullo, today complained that sales of nude celebrity calendar pics and posters are in sharp decline, principally because of overexposure on a satirical website, which we can't name here for regal lesions.

Even explicit shots of celebrity cocks, tits and fannies aren't shifting particularly well in the run up to Christmas. Ali Bullo is said to be "gutted innit" after investing thousands of pounds in photoshopped 'nude' calendars featuring such luminaries as Pixie Lott, Cheryl Cole, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus and Beyonce in 'baps n flaps' shots, and Robert Pattinson, Brad Pitt and Taylor Lautner in scenes from 70s porno movies with their heads photoshopped onto the stars' bodies.

"Is bladdy disaster mate innit," a distraught Ali Bullo told Skoob Entertainment News. "Me put bladdy thousands into this job thinking me shift many units, thinking that people want to see celeb tits, fannies, arses, and cock and balls - nothing. Is that bladdy website innit! Me no have interweb, just kebab shop - them sell dirty cheap and very bladdy nasty. More naked nudies there than me can shake kebab cutting knife at. Me can no compete. Is all shit!"

Further SEN investigations revealed that certain websites do indeed carry an inordinate number of fake nude celebrity temptations with which to lure in unsuspecting kleenex weilding net surfing wankers, and that they have indisputably damaged Ali Bullo's nude calendar scam.

But then Ali Bullo's operation is equally dishonest, offering such delights as nude Pixie Lott calendars and posters from his fleet of kebab vans and shops.

For a tenner a pop.

"That is no the point!" Ali Bullo raged. "Point here is that me lost thousands because of bladdy poxy website innit. I no worry, though. Me have order in for nude porno Susan Boyle/Gillian McKeith calendar. It that no work, me just have to tell staff to cut down on portions in kebab. Bladdy fickle English bastards innit!"

Indeed, Ali. Indeed.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more