Who will be Spielberg's Lincoln?

Funny story written by foodallyoucan

Saturday, 20 November 2010

Steven Spielberg, the legendary producer and moviemaker, is now on the talent scout trail...he is on the lookout for an actor or non-actor to portray the well-loved (the North) and the well-hated (the South) former president of the United States: Abraham Lincoln.

First on the criteria list is that fortunate person should be a six footer in height since Lincoln was quite a tall person. Secondly, he should have a booming voice so that he will be convincing when he orates the speech that starts with: "Fourscore and seven years ago..." Thirdly, he should be willing to shield himself from the tomatoes and the shoes that will be thrown at him by Confederacy supporters and anti-integration fascists.

Celebrities who were considered were Will Smith (tall, but too black); Dirk Nowitzki of the Dallas Mavericks basketball team (tall and can carry a beard but have too much of a German accent)and Vin Diesel (booming voice but too bald and not so tall).

And the winner is Daniel Day-Lewis, a British actor who is tall and whose facial profile (long face) fits the bone structure of Abraham Lincoln. The long hair locks and the beard of the former president also sits well with Daniel's face.

Spielberg has also considered that Daniel's British accent could augur well when he does Lincoln's speech because he will be emphasizing every word vigorously.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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