Doctors in Sweden have certified for general medical use a Proporol-based diet program that guarantees humongous weight losses.
The only catches are: You have to like ice cream and red velvet cake with thick marshmallow frosting; and you must be able to tolerate Propofol, a harmless sleep-inducer when properly administered.
A Swedish study of 100 elderly (the only people with enough free time for this experiment) grossly overweight people was put to sleep for six months.
They were given Propofol and other prescription sedatives in a medical setting.
They were awakened for only an hour a day so they could eat the ice cream and cake.
While in their nearly perpetual Propofol Dreamland, the Swedish patients were intravenously fed vitamins and mineral supplements, as well as psychedelics to induce entertaining dreams.
"These tubby seniors lost more than 300 pounds each, and they enjoyed sweet dreams and great dessert for a long, long time," said Swen Erickson, M.D.the inventor of the diet.
Erickson would not discuss the cost of the innovative procedure-performed legally only in Sweden or its territorial possessions.
Some experts say, however, say the doctor charges $500,000, and offers complete 24/7 patient monitoring with plenty of standby emergency equipment just in case.
Erickson dismissed charges that Propofol might have helped kill singer Michael Jackson.
"None of my patients ever died. And the cake and ice cream are free!" he declared.
"So even if they do die, they'll go happily, and with a sweet taste in their mouths … and sweet dreams in their brains!"
