LOMPOC, California - Miley Cyrus and her father Billy Ray Cyrus were in Lompoc visiting a Velcro factory that they may be interested in purchasing.
Miley was asked how she was feeling. She replied that she was kind of tired from reading about all of the amazing exploits that the media says she has done.
She giggled and said that if she did one-fifth of the things that the media says she has done, she would only be able to sleep about 10 minutes a night.
When her dad heard the word 'one fifth' he asked, "Where's the fifth? Okay, who has the darn fifth?"
Miley was asked if she regrets giving her movie producer Adam Shankman that infamous lap dance.
Young Cyrus rolled her eyes and said "Look, if you really saw the video, you can see that Shanky really did not enjoy me touching his (blank) with my (blank).
And it is not because I don't have one fine looking (blank) either. It is just simply that the Skanker is gay, just like Clay Aiken, Adam Lambert, and Lance Bass."
Miley was then asked about the infamous underwear-less photo that was taken of her that appeared all over the Internet from Indianapolis to India.
She blushed and said that she was actually wearing skin-colored panties, kind of like the ones that the Williams sista (sister) was wearing except only not as cheap looking, not as ugly, and certainly not as humongous.
She then said that regarding the TV pole dance that she did. She said that the only reason she did that was because the Pole Dancers of America Union paid her $250,000 to do it. She said that she donated the money to The Wipe The Tar Off Of The Louisiana Bayou Guppies Society.
Miley did state that sadly a lot of the leaks about her personal life came from friends of hers; or at least people whom she thought were her friends.
She took out a small notepad and opened it up. She said that the notepad had about 700 names of people whom she considered to be her friends. But unfortunately that is not the case.
Miley said that she is going to be going through the list and she will be calling up over 400 of the names on the list and informing them that effective (right now) they are no longer to consider her a friend, because she will no longer consider them as her friends.
Young Miley was asked if she could give out some of the names. She quickly replied that she would not do that because she wanted the element of surprise to be on her side.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I had dinner with Larry King and his adulterous wife last night and Larry told me that some of the names on the list which Miley is dropping as friends include Muffy Riverhorse, who was in charge of buying her bras; Aladdin Everwing, her longtime gay as flamingo hay hair stylist; Tapioca Saladsoil, the girlfriend of her married bass player; and Fancy Cosmomuck and Rufus Cricketfoot, two of her longtime 'gophers.']
