CNN to Piers Morgan: "Why Worry? Replacements Always Do As Well As The Original on Television!"

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Saturday, 24 July 2010

image for CNN to Piers Morgan: "Why Worry? Replacements Always Do As Well As The Original on Television!"
Larry King, one of the signers of the Magna Carta, is looking forward to retirement.

Piers Morgan, one of the judges on the U.K.'s "X-Factor; The Cheryl Cole Experience" is being courted by CNN to replace "Live" host and former Dead Sea Scroll author Larry King. But, sources say, Piers is balking, because he is afraid that a replacement host - - any replacement host - - will be unsuccessful filling King's orthopaedic shoes.

From their POV, CNN is confident that Morgan can do well.

"CNN has full confidence that Piers would make a smooth transition into Larry's role, and we expect that he will retail 100% of King's viewers," said CNN Vice President Billy Batson. "But, you know, no pressure."

Other television insiders are expressing opinions similar to CNN's.

"Piers is a wonderful broadcaster," said Steven Shortridge who, as Beau De Labarre, made viewers of 'Welcome Back, Kotter' forget about an actor named John Travolta. "His talent alone is enough to carry him across the finish line a winner. Now, did you want the meal, or just the Big Mac and fries?"

For Byron Cherry and Christopher Mayer, who played Coy and Vance Duke for one season after John Scheinder and Top Wopat bailed out of 'Dukes of Hazzard', the decision is a no-brainer: "We wouldn't have had careers if we didn't land 'Dukes'," said Cherry. "Do you know how easy it is to sell life insurance to a person once they realize you're a TV star?"

Larry King also weighed in on the debate: "I like Pears, I think they'll do well, especially in fruit salad. The underside of my dentures taste like lunch! I have to make water."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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