Late Night talk show 'host', the eight times married Larry King, his career in suspended animation due to faltering ratings, was finally cut lose by CNN after 25 years.
King who has been in and out of the hospital as much as he's been in and out of Elvis's wedding chapel in Las Vegas, has finally seen his current run come to an end after recent personal catastrophes' in his very mixed up marital life.
First there were reports of marital discord with his current wife, Shawn, , then reports surfaced that the cause for the 'sticky moments' was an affair with her younger sister, the curvy Shannon.
There have been reports of separation, pending divorce, miraculous reconciliations, then marriage counseling, and finally last week an alleged accidental overdose by Shannon while vacationing alone 'without that wrinkled, 80 year old leech,' according to her father.
Now it's official, Piers Morgan of Britain's Got Talent fame, who also is serving on America's Got Talent, has inked a 4 year deal worth $6.15M to hunch over Larry's old desk conducting 'interviews.'
Insiders say renovation plans are already underway at the CNN studios where Larry performed for decades. Gone will be the casting couch (if it could only talk), the pedicure station, the sauna, the ice filled pool and the fresh cut willow branches (ouch) and the walk in closet where King maintained over 547,321 pair of suspenders...'each one with a history' claimed the leering King.
Morgan, slightly more handsome than King, with an accent unlike King's Brooklyn/Miami nasal delivery, said the format of the show will be little changed. "We'll still be interviewing the same dumb hollywood stars, fading celebrities, idiot politicians and has beens we've always done...the difference being we'll be counting on my radiant personality, and my tight micro fiber sans- a- belt slacks to bring in the female over 45 audience. Did you notice I'm not wearing socks with my Topsiders?"
"It was time, ' said a saddened network exec who had ridden King as far as he could go, "his numbers were down 43% since last year and approaching those of Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews, Larry really had nothing to say anymore, and he had asked the last innocuous question. Besides, combined figures compiled from the nation's nursing homes indicated that most of his fans had died years ago!"
King is said to have done over 40,000 interviews without ever having asked a tough question. A saddened King, lamenting over his termination said," well, at least they can say about me, "He Never Screwed Me...at least while we were live!"
