Insiders have just revealed that Cheryl Cole (Tweedy) is all set to jet off to Tanzania once she has sufficiently recovered from malaria, for a short convalescence period.
Simon Cowell is reported to be furious that Chezza has derelicted (sic) her X-Factor duties, and has demanded a sick note from the Girls Aloud and solo artiste, because he wants her back at work, on the job, ASAP - if it's only in order to keep Katie Price, aka Jordan off his back.
Cowell is reported by sources to be going 'off his nut' with Price's constant badgering, and just wants Chezza back. According to insiders, Simon is appalled by Price's assumption that she could possibly judge potential stars, as she possesses no discernible talent of her own, other than talking bollocks in a bad estuary accent and showing off her top set.
"A bit like Simon himself, but you try telling the jumper wearing moron that, and he goes off on one," a friend told us.
But it looks like Cheryl is unlikely to be rushing back to the X-Factor fold anytime soon, as she feels she needs a rest, because all that miming, and all those crocodile tears she's expended over the last twelve months have been taking their toll.
So it looks like she'll be laying up in the Tanzanian sunshine for a few weeks. Hoping that she won't get bitten by another mosquito. Or maybe not.
When cross nailing, cage inhabitant Alex Reid offered to fly out to Tanzania to check on Cheryl's welfare, sources informed us that Katie Price slapped his head. Fairly hard.
Rumour has it that Sarah Harding out of Girls Aloud is on stand-by to fly out to Tanzania to advise on bikini choice for Chezza's paparazzi "miraculous recovery from malaria" photo shoot.
Ex-husband to be, Ashley, and most other people, remain only vaguely interested. Simon is said to be still fuming about the sick note and threatening disciplinary action.
More as we get it.
